#hum

One can only tolerate the absolute idiocy of Man for so long before bringing out the bat. ↗

— Dean Hale

#pessimism #humor

Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to feel smug about," Charles Wallace said. "Why should I disillusion them? ↗

— Madeleine L'Engle

#sarcasm #humor

Lothaire is very much alive.” “You swear?” “Often. Though not as much as foul-mouthed Regin. I try not to in front of Bertil.” She petted the bat. “I meant—will Lothaire live?” “He will. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#paranormal-romance #humor

Specifically, I’d like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it’s less wasteful. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#humor

The more fucked up you are, the more I like you. As long as you've managed to hold onto your identity through all the shit, then it won't matter how twisted you are. I will love you more for it. ↗

— Ashly Lorenzana

#experiences #fucked-up #humor #identity #love

The easiest way to get from point A to point B is with a vehicle that runs on alphabet soup. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #vehicle #funny

Rejection is one thing - but rejection from a fool is cruel. ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

What? It’s not my blood!” “Let me see it,” Julian demanded, and a moment later there were sounds of a scuffle from the back seat. “I am AB positive and this is distinctly type O blood!” Ty finally shouted at him. “Look at the little Os! ↗

— Abigail Roux

#humor

Aha!" Lassiter pointed at the boob tube. "You motherfucker! I knew you were the father! ↗

— J.R. Ward

#lassiter #maury #humor

I'm infatuated with you, I cannot deny it. Physically speaking, you're a very attractive man. But I don't like you, the vast majority of the time. So far as I can gather, you behave abominably in public and are only marginally better in private. I only find you remotely tolerable when you're kissing me. ↗

— Tessa Dare

#romance #humor