#hum

I don’t have enough gross words in my gross vocabulary to describe how gross that gross thought is. Gross. ↗

— A.S. King

#humor #lgbt #lgbtq #ya #young-adult

I've got plenty.” Isabelle smiled, kicking her feet up so that her anklets jingled like Christmas bells. "These, for instance. The left one is gold, which is poisonous to demons, and the right one is blessed iron, in case I run across any unfriendly vampires or even faeries, faeries hate iron. They both have strength runes carved into them, so I can pack a hell of a kick. " "Demon hunting and fashion," Clary said. "I never would have thought they went together. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#demon-hunting #fashion #humor #isabelle #humor

Phrase the question any way you like…The answer will still be ‘Kiss my ass. ↗

— M.A. George

#kiss-my-ass #paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #humor

Hell, I can't hit a girl. Here, Claire. You hit her. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor

If you ever got me, you wouldn't have a clue what to do with me. ↗

— Charlie Kaufman

#humor

Carnatur, eh? What are they man-eating daisies? ↗

— Nicole Sager

#humor

As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor #humor

Since Dominic's been sleeping with me, the mice have been trying various labels on him, looking for one that fits. My personal favorite was the week they spent calling him "the God of Absolutely Never Smiling, No, Not Ever. ↗

— Seanan McGuire

#humor

Graduation Speech: I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste. ↗

— Steve Weinburg

#humor

Who knows, my friend? Maybe the sword does have some magic. Personally, I think it's the warrior who wields it. ↗

— Brian Jacques

#humor #magic #squire-julian #warrior #humor