#hum

Listen to the Chair Leg of Truth! It does not lie! ↗

— Warren Ellis

#humor

It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer. . .a man will forfeit all sensible self-interest if he finds you affable enough to share your company over a flagon of ale. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #humor

with me,it is 'better never than late ↗

— Ngũgĩ wa Thiong’o

#humor

There is also a CAN OF PEANUTS on the desk. Ha ha, oh DAD. You won't be falling for THAT one again any time soon. A severe peanut allergy is a terrible affliction to cope with. ↗

— Andrew Hussie

#prank #humor

Oh, Anya! Let's have an intense spiritual relationship for no believable reason! ↗

— Vera Brosgol

#humor

I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor

It rained toads the day the White Council came to town. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#magic #rain #toads #humor

Did you wake up on the stupid side of the bed this morning? ↗

— Tammy Blackwell

#humor

Sitting on my stool I thought of a bumper sticker: "If Mean People Suck, Why Isn't My Dick In Your Mouth? ↗

— Paul Neilan

#humor #humor

Gotten butt-ass, bone-dog naked for your vadge-cam?" Dante offered with an angelic smile, standing close. "Fucking hell, D." Griff turned to Beth with an apology, but she spoke first. "Huh-yeah. Thanks, cockbreath. ↗

— Damon Suede

#gay-romance #humor #humor