#hum

Just tell the truth, and they'll accuse you of writing black humor. ↗

— Charles Willeford

#humor

If you think I'm going to let six people risk their lives - !' 'because it's the first time for all of us,' said Ron. 'This is different, pretending to be me -' 'Well, none of us really fancy it, Harry,' said Fred earnestly. 'Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever.' Harry did not smile. 'You can't do it if I don't cooperate, you need me to give you some hair.' 'Well, that's the plan scuppered,' said George. 'Obviously there's no chance at all of us getting a bit of your hair unless you cooperate.' 'Yeah, thirteen of us against one bloke who's not allowed to use magic; we've got no chance,' said Fred. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#death

The very first thing I tell my new students on the first day of a workshop is that good writing is about telling the truth. We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are. Sheep lice do not seem to share this longing, which is one reason they write so very little. But we do. We have so much we want to say and figure out. ↗

— Anne Lamott

#writing #humor

A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. It doesn't only represent the good things. If you burn the flag, you're burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. it's only a symbol. It's only a piece of cloth. ↗

— George Carlin

#politics #humor

Pack pack kill kill ↗

— Erin Hunter

#humor

I'm a peripheral visionary. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

You're lucky I was on that roof all day. That old man... he was trying to sell you a Sega product. ↗

— The Harvard Lampoon

#games #humor #sega #humor

Can you believe it? Fifty miles from McDonald's. I didn't think there was anywhere in the world that was fifty miles from McDonald's. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #mcdonald-s #humor

That's it! Victoria's Secret and I are through! ↗

— Jillian Dodd

#humor

Zane glanced toward the stairwell, then back to Nick. "How close are you?" he finally blurted out. "I have no frame of reference, other than the oorah and your tongue down his throat. ↗

— Abigail Roux

#nick #zane #humor