#hum

I like these boots," I told Vayl. "Do you think they'd sell them to me cheap? I keep ruining mine." "Since when do you fret over money?" he asked with amusement. "I was not even sure you knew what to do with it." I shrugged. "A women has needs." "Still." said Cole. "Gosh, Jaz, why didn't you say something to me? I'd never let you suffer. ↗

— Jennifer Rardin

#humor

The scent of the sea, a wild turbulent storm, crashing into her mind. Elena, why is Dmitri naked? ↗

— Nalini Singh

#humor

I've found the best way to revise your own work is to pretend that somebody else wrote it and then to rip the living shit out of it. ↗

— Don Roff

#humor #revision #writing #humor

Of course we got drunk!" Semyon said. "It's okay to get drunk, Anton. If you need to real bad. Only you have to get drunk on vodka. Cognac and wine—that's all for the heart." "So what's vodka for?" "For the soul. If it's hurting real bad ↗

— Sergei Lukyanenko

#humor #inspirational #vodka #humor

Love is a war of all for all. That is why we must covet our neighbors as ourselves. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #love #neighbor #war

If he goes for my nose again, I fink I'll hang him up by his little balls,' one of the Guard said, getting to his feet. Froi tried to ignore the mockery. 'Nothing little about me,' he grunted. 'Don't take my word for it, Hindley. Ask your wife. She seemed happy last night, you know, with the size and all. ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#humor #humor

So why did you want to kiss me?" "We're friends aren't we?" Callum shrugged. I relaxed into a smile. "Of course we are." "And if you can't kiss your friends who can you kiss?" Callum smiled. ↗

— Malorie Blackman

#humor #innocent #malorie-blackman #noughts-and-crosses #sephy

Then she tried to bore herself to sleep by thinking about things like yogurt and the structure of a gas pedal. ↗

— Jessica Park

#humor

...and I freaked the fuck out in earnest. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#humor

Its getting late early ↗

— Yogi Berra

#humor #humor