#hum

Then Dad started going on about the complex geological formations in this part of the coast until Mum told him to shut up. But she was smiling when she said it. Lucy liked that. ↗

— Kerrie O'Connor

#humor #personal #family

My friend Kathy is the only person who'll be halfway honest with me. 'Did you ever see a cowboy film, where someone has been caught by the Indians and tied between two wild stallions, each pulling in opposite directions?' she asked. I nodded mutely. 'That's a bit what giving birth is like. ↗

— Marian Keyes

#humor #family

Atop a Ferris wheel, Orson Welles told Joseph Cotten how Italy's thirty years of war and terror and bloodshed had produced the Renaissance and Michelangelo, and how Switzerland's five hundred years of democracy and peace had produced, goddamn, only the cuckoo clock. ↗

— Kevin Wilson

#family

I know. You know I know. I know you know I know, we know that Henry knows and Henry knows we know it. We're a knowledgeable family. ↗

— James Goldman

#family

I need you to get inside Wayne's head. I need someone who thinks a bit left field and in your own unpleasant way, Helen Walsh, you're a genius. He had a point. I'm lazy and illogical. I've limited people skills. I'm easily bored and easily irritated. But I have moments of brilliance. They come and they go and I can't depend on them but they do happen. ↗

— Marian Keyes

#humorous #turn-of-phrase #family

This just isn't my day. Or my week. Or maybe my life. No, sadly, this is my life. Lily pg. 102 ↗

— Tera Lynn Childs

#forgiveness

I do not believe in God. Instead I believe in the power of Family. And occasionally, when I'm feeling optimistic, in free will. But blood is a force to be reckoned with. God for example, can't give you an excellent head of hair. Your family can. They can also give you cancer. And heart disease. Nothing kills like Family. ↗

— Juliann Garey

#humor #family

I want to be a dad. Sorry, I’m dyslexic. I meant to write dad.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dyslexia #family #funny #humor #family

People don't tend to employ me. I'm the wrong personality type. Or rather, people do tend to employ me for a short time and then they sack me. A film broker once told me, as she terminated my contract, that I have a misleading sort of face. "You're pretty", she complained. "Your features are symmetrical and there was an article in Grazia that says human beings are programmed to find those with symmetrical features more pleasing to they eye. So this isn't my fault, I was simply responding to a biological imperative. You've even teeth, so when you smile, you look...sweet, I suppose. But you're not, are you?" "I hope not," I said. "You see, there you go again. You're a smart-arse and you've no ability to filter your thoughts---" "And my thoughts are often abrasive." "Exactly." "I'll just get my brushes and sponges and leave." "If you would. ↗

— Marian Keyes

#humorous #turn-of-phrase #way-with-words #family

If anyone ever saw me dance, they'd have trouble taking me seriously. ↗

— Christina Ricci

#humor