#hum

If any difference should be made by law between husband and wife, reason, justice and humanity, if their voices were heard, would dictate that it should be in her favor. ↗

— Ernestine Rose

#between #dictate #difference #favor #heard

THE FIRST TEN LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL 1. We are here to help you. 2. You will have time to get to your class before the bell rings. 3. The dress code will be enforced. 4. No smoking is allowed on school grounds. 5. Our football team will win the championship this year. 6. We expect more of you here. 7. Guidance counselors are always available to listen. 8. Your schedule was created with you in mind. 9. Your locker combination is private. 10. These will be the years you look back on fondly. TEN MORE LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL 1. You will use algebra in your adult lives. 2. Driving to school is a privilege that can be taken away. 3. Students must stay on campus during lunch. 4. The new text books will arrive any day now. 5. Colleges care more about you than your SAT scores. 6. We are enforcing the dress code. 7. We will figure out how to turn off the heat soon. 8. Our bus drivers are highly trained professionals. 9. There is nothing wrong with summer school. 10. We want to hear what you have to say. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#school #humor

Why are we bringing him along, again?" Will inquired, of the world in general as well as his sister. Cecily put her hands on her hips. "Why are you bringing Tessa?" "Because Tessa and I are going to be married," Will said, and Tessa smiled; the way that Will's little sister could ruffle his feathers like no one else was still amusing to her. "Well, Gabriel and I might well be married," Cecily said. "Someday." Gabriel made a choking noise, and turned an alarming shade of purple. Will threw up his hands. "You can't be married Cecily! You're only fifteen! When I get married, I'll be eighteen! An adult!" Cecily did not look impressed. "We may have a long engagement," she said. "But I cannot see why you are counseling me to marry a man my parents have never met." Will sputtered. "I am not counseling you to marry a man your parents have never met!" "Then we are in agreement. Gabriel must meet Mam and Dad. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#gabriel-lightwood #humor #marriage #p- #humor

Human speech is like a cracked kettle on which we tap crude rhythms for bears to dance to, while we long to make music that will melt the stars. ↗

— Gustave Flaubert

#cracked #crude #dance #human #kettle

Of all the men that have run for president in the twentieth century, only George McGovern truly understood what a monument America could be to the human race. ↗

— Hunter S. Thompson

#century #could #george #human #human race

Well, it's a humor strip, so my first responsibility has always been to entertain the reader... But if, in addition, I can help move readers to thought and judgment about issues that concern me, so much the better. ↗

— Garry Trudeau

#addition #always #been #better #concern

The human foot is a masterpiece of engineering and a work of art. ↗

— Leonardo da Vinci

#engineering #foot #human #masterpiece #work

Humor results when society says you can't scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public. ↗

— Tom Walsh

#certain things #humor #itch #public #results

Bad human communication leaves us less room to grow. ↗

— Rowan D. Williams

#bad #grow #human #leaves #less

I'm not afraid of werewolves or vampires or haunted hotels, I'm afraid of what real human beings to do other real human beings. ↗