#hum

I’m out of health potions. Retreat! Retreat! Give me some of your health potions!” I screamed. “I don’t have any potions. Run, bitch, run,” Brody squealed. The red ran out on my health and my assassin was transported, stripped of everything we’d earned, back to the starting camp. “I’m dead! Fuck, they killed me! ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#romance #humor

There wasn't a colloquial phrase, or curse, that went something like, "May your day be full of angry dragons" or, "May every dragon you meet today be pissed off." But, there should have been. ↗

— Michelle Sagara West

#fantasy #humor #humor

You can't possibly ask me to go without having some dinner. It's absurd. I never go without my dinner. No one ever does, except vegetarians and people like that. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #vegetarianism #humor

Never let the things you can't do, stop you from doing what you can. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#humor

[I'm] as broke as the ten commandments. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#psmith #wodehouse #humor

Are you?” “What?” “Venomous?” Another savage smile. He touched the tip of one fang with his tongue and when he drew it away, she saw a pearl of golden liquid. “Try me and see.” “Maybe later, after I’ve survived Michaela. ↗

— Nalini Singh

#humor

Oh, Wax has always been solemn, but when he's at his best, there's a smirk underneath. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#personality #humor

I said I fell down. Ah. The ground bloodied your nose, split yer lip, and punched ye in th' eye, all at once. I said I don't want to talk about it. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#pride #humor

Did you hear something?" "No." "Did I hear something?" "...I don't know... ↗

— Matt Groening

#humor #lenny #the-simpsons #humor

He was tall and scrawny with a face that could be mistaken with Keith Richards on a bad day. ↗