#hum

Old as carbon," Nix agreed. "And so powerful I'm working on my demigoddess badges. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#humor

Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night. ↗

— Scott Adams

#humor #humor

Because we don't really sparkle. ↗

— John G. Hartness

#sarcasm #vampires #humor

I'm good for some things, bad for a lot of things. ↗

— Jackie Chan

#inspirational #humor

The name is Schitt," he replied. "Jack Schitt. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humor

Why don't you and I have a nice penetrating man-to-man conversation? ↗

— Sanami Matoh

#humor #humor

Nosferatu is the daddy of modern American sex. ↗

— Andrei Codrescu

#vampires #humor

Pen-bereavement is a serious matter. ↗

— Anne Fadiman

#pen #pens #writers #writing #humor

My name might be similar, but I'd never say 'Laters, baby. ↗

— Jennifer Probst

#fifty-shades-of-grey #humor #maximus-gray #humor

Jem, I ain't ever heard of a nigger snowman," I said. ↗

— Harper Lee

#humor