#hum

Retail therapy—usually one of my first resorts—wasn’t working; I felt like a cat that smelled pit bull. ↗

— M.L.N. Hanover

#humor

You take a dick and you get it wet and then you put it someplace tight— ↗

— K.A. Mitchell

#humor #sex #humor

This soft grass suggests 'softness' to me, but also at the same time 'lying-down-ness'. ↗

— Louise Rennison

#humor

Try again. No no no, eyes up, eyes up! When you bow to someone you look at them, not at the floor. Don't look at her in the eye though lad, that's rude. And not THERE, either. ↗

— Stephen Deas

#humor

Check her out. She‟s fuckin‟ hot.” “Wedding band,” I say. “She sings in one?" “No, jackass. She's wearing one. ↗

— Caprice Crane

#humor

Playful,” Amanda repeated, shaking her head. The idea contradicted all her long-held ideas of romance and sex. One did not “play” in bed. What did he mean? Was he implying that sexual partners enjoyed jumping on the mattress and throwing pillows, as children did? ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor

Life plots elegantly. ↗

— Alice Randall

#humor

You will leave now," said Grdankl the Strong. "Go! Do not be afraid! If you die, it is okay! ↗

— Ridley Pearson

#humor #humor

Aw, kiss him, Gwen, clamored a hundred perky eggs. Shut up, she rebuked. We don't even know him, and until moments ago we thought he was dead. That's no way to start a relationship. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#eggs #gwen #humorous #karen-marie-moning #kiss

Oh, drop the act, Tinkerbell, and get rid of my problem. Then we’ll talk. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor