#hum

About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him -- which I assumed was wildly out of his control -- that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he has kissed me. ↗

— The Harvard Lampoon

#humor

He had about the same life expectancy as a three legged hedgehog on a six lane motorway. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor

There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humorous #humor

I've never killed a man, but I've read many an obituary with a great deal of satisfaction. ↗

— Clarence Darrow

#death #humor #death

You've got no sense of humor." I'm going to laugh really hard after I kick your ass. ↗

— J.D. Robb

#death

Death and Famine and War and Pollution continued biking towards Tadfield. And Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty To Animals, Things Not Working Properly Even After You've Given Them A Good Thumping but secretly No Alcohol Lager, and Really Cool People travelled with them. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #death

I have lots of faith," the fallen angel said as he crouched down and coaxed the dog closer. "I have faith that this is a bad idea. She's not going to belive you. She's going to think we're nuts. She's going to call the police unless she has a record, and if she does she'll run away. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#humor #faith

I don't want the whole world, I just want your half. ↗

— They Might Be Giants

#humor

Zayvion and I had an agreement that we were going to give this relationship everything we could. And that included trust, faith, and honesty. Not a single one of which was among my strong points. ↗

— Devon Monk

#faith

Knowing and thinking exist for the sake of love -- for the sake of building people up in faith. Thinking that produces pride instead of love is not true thinking. ↗

— John Piper

#love #pride #thinking #faith