#hum

She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor

Besides, Southerners are hospitable. They'll probably offer me lemonade." Excuse me? You're going to sit on a porch and drink lemonade while I plow a swamp with a goat's horn?" Yes, ma'am. And I aim to wear my seamless shirt while you do it. ↗

— Nancy Werlin

#humor

My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor #humor

Holding a tear back makes them drain upward, higher and higher, until one day your head just explodes and you're left with a stub of a neck and nothing more. ↗

— Alice Hoffman

#humor

Knowledge is power. Information is power. The secreting or hoarding of knowledge or information may be an act of tyranny camouflaged as humility. ↗

— Robin Morgan

#hoarding #humility #information #knowledge #knowledge is power

Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect. ↗

— Chief Seattle

#bound #connect #humankind #life #ourselves

One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality. That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people’s lives simply by existing. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humanity #inspirational #age

Let me express how much I don't care on a scale from one to bite me ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor #humor

So, technically," Simon said, "even though Jace isn't actually related to you, you have kissed your brother. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#simon-lewis #humor