#hum

I wonder how Admat can be everywhere. Is he in my sandal? Or is he my sandal itself? Why would a god bother to be a sandal? Does he wear shoes or sandals himself, invisible ones? ↗

— Gail Carson Levine

#humor #sandals #humor

One day I will rule the world with a goat by my side! ↗

— Jhonen Vasquez

#humor

You know how people are always threatenin' to shove this or that up someone's ass, but they never really do it? Well, now there's a new story gonna be told 'round the fire: 'How Coyote Shoved An Arrow Up A Fallen Angel's Ass. ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#humor

Tea? At the beach? No time for luxuries, Holly. There is important work to be done.” He winked at Butler. “Are you sure you’re at the library? I thought I heard water.” Artemis smiled, enjoying the exchange. “Water? Surely not. The only thing flowing here is information.” “Are you grinning, Artemis? For some reason I get the feeling that you’re wearing that smug smile of yours. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #young-adult #humor

No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside. ↗

— Jeff Lindsay

#humor

If you're late to the rescue, the imprisoned princess will just have to escape on her own! ↗

— Kyo Shirodaira

#princess #humor

Women talk when they want to. Or don't. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#truth #humor

- I USHERED SOULS INTO THE NEXT WORLD. I WAS THE GRAVE OF ALL HOPE. I WAS THE ULTIMATE REALITY. I WAS THE ASSASSIN AGAINST WHOM NO LOCK WOULD HOLD. - "Yes, point taken, but do you have any particular skills? ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor

Can I help you?" said the footman. Richard had been told to fuck off and die with more warmth and good humor. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor

Maybe I didn't try as hard as I ought when he started calling you names. Serves him right, the nasty old turd. Punch him again, Moth" - Peaseblossom ↗

— Lisa Mantchev

#fairies #humor #humor