#humor

Stupid is a condition. Ignorance is a choice. ↗

— Wiley Miller

#humor

I don’t believe it! You’re still interested in the girl, despite the fact that she might be some kind of alien. Does this sickness of yours have any bounds? ↗

— Tom Upton

#young-adult #humor

They were really getting quite fond of their strange pet and hoped that Aslan would allow them to keep it. The cleverer ones were quite sure by now that at least some of the noises which came out of his mouth had a meaning. They christened him Brandy because he made that noise so often. ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#humor

Just be careful, hon,” Rosanna said. “Oh, are the plates hot?” I flinched back just before my hands made contact. Rosanna laughed. “No, but hot boys can burn you just as easily. ↗

— C.J. Duggan

#humor #romance #summer #young-adult #humor

They tried boiling books, but that didn't work very well." "I'm surprised they haven't tried boiling one another." "Oh, it's been tried," Galladon said. "Fortunately. something happens to us during the Shaod—apparently the flesh of a dead man doesn't taste too good. Kolo? In fact, it's so violently bitter that no one can keep it down." "It's nice to see that cannibalism has been so logically ruled out as an option," Raoden said dryly ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

Nothing builds confidence like live ammo. ↗

— Tim Dorsey

#firearms #humor #humor

That's the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fricken life. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humor

If you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them. The key — and this is very relevant in our case — is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor

I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor

As the children were sitting there eating pears, a girl came walking along the road from town. When she saw the children she stopped and asked, "Have you seen my papa go by?" "M-m-m," said Pippi. "How did he look? Did he have blue eyes?" "Yes," said the girl. "Medium large, not too tall and not too short?" "Yes," said the girl. "Black hat and black shoes?" "Yes, exactly," said the girl eagerly. "No, that one we haven't seen," said Pippi decidedly. ↗

— Astrid Lindgren

#humor