#humor

The rule of the Morrell family was over, and Richard owned a used-car lot and Monica worked at a nail salon, until one day she got run over by a bus. Very sad. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#monica-morrell #morganville #family

Still it is true that many same-sex couples want nothing more than to join society as fully integrated socially responsible family-centered taxpaying Little League-coaching nation-serving respectably married citizens. So why not welcome them in Why not recruit them by the vanload to sweep in on heroic wings and save the flagging and battered old institution of matrimony from a bunch of apathetic ne'er-do-well heterosexual deadbeats like me ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#gay-marriage #gay-rights #homosexual #humor #marriage

My point is, I would never hurt you or your family.” I raised my chin at him. “If you tried to hurt my mother, I would totally kick your ass.” “Aha.” “Yes. You would be lying on the ground, crying, ‘No more, no more,’ and I would be kicking you in the stomach, wham, wham, wham!” He laughed softly. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #jim #family

In the English language, it all comes down to this: Twenty-six letters, when combined correctly, can create magic. Twenty -six letters form the foundation of a free, informed society. ↗

— John Grogan

#inspirational #journalism #memoir #family

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#insults #put-downs #humor

Apparently, he’d killed so many family members that he must have significantly affected the Lore’s population. Doing my part for the environment. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#family

I think it would be funny to have one of those family decals showing a really skinny teenage girl barfing into a little chalk-outline bag (the bulimic in the family) or the dad figure dressed in the woman's underwear that he truly enjoys slipping into when no one's looking. Or the wife figure smiling with her exaggerated curly hair and tennis skirt, clutching a racket in one hand and a bottle of Stoli' in the other. ↗

— Celia Rivenbark

#family

Xavier, you have given me more grey hairs than all my sons put together.’ Saul frowned, then corrected himself. ‘To be fair, you and Zed. Just try not to add to them tonight. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#father #humor #sons #family

You can't force folks to have good sense, even if they're family. Maybe especially then. ↗

— Patricia C. Wrede

#good-sense #humor #family

No!" Amy said. "Dan, you're lucky it was only concussive. You could've wiped out the whole Holt family." "And that would've been bad because...? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#dan-cahill #humor #family