#humor

The best man day in the world would involve building a bridge and then blowing up that bridge. Which is why you can't make a better man movie than The Bridge on the River Kwai, unless you make Two Bridges on the River Kwai. ↗

— Joel Stein

#men #men

And this? Aldhelm of Malmesbury. Listen to this page: 'Primitus pantorum procerum poematorum pio potissimum paternoque presertim privilegio panegiricum poemataque passim prosatori sub polo promulgatas.' ... The words all begin with the same letter!" "The men of my islands are all a bit mad," William said proudly. ↗

— Umberto Eco

#humor #men

It was a simple meal, but ideal for preventing constipation. Constipation was one of the things she hated most in the world, on par with despicable men who commit domestic violence and narrow-minded religious fundamentalists. ↗

— Haruki Murakami

#men

Chase? He actually said that to you?” She frowned. “Yes.” “When?” “When we were in bed.” “Great timing,” Dee muttered. “Just like a man. We’ll just file him away under D for dumb ass and move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Or better yet, S for sicko. ↗

— Lindsey Brookes

#men #men

God made him, and therefore let him pass for a man. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#ugly-men #men

I believe in children praying--well, women, too, but I rather think God expects men to be more self-reliant. I don't hold with a man everlastingly bothering the Almighty with his silly troubles. ↗

— Joseph Conrad

#spirituality #men

My poor Eunice looked so tired when she huffed off the bus with her many bags that I nearly tackled her in a rejuvenating embrace, but I was careful not to make a scene, waving my roses and champagne at the armed men to prove that I had enough Credit to afford Retail, and then kissed her passionately on one cheek (she smelled of flight and moisturizer), then on the straight, thin, oddly non-Asian nose, then the other cheek, then back to the nose, then once more the first cheek, following the curve of freckles backward and forward, marking her nose like a bridge to be crossed twice. The champagne bottle fell out of my hands, but, whatever futuristic garbage it was made of, it didn't break. ↗

— Gary Shteyngart

#freckles #humor #lenny #love #love

What is there," Owain wondered aloud, to the sky above him and the soil below, "persuades this man still that my words do not mean what they seem to mean in sane men's ears? ↗

— Edith Pargeter

#men

Mum calls you happy.” Emily giggled. “Huh? I don’t know your Mom…” “She says men like you are happy!” Garry stared at her, uncomprehending. He’d rarely felt less happy in his life. “She means gay,” Max said, and now there was a grin on his face. ↗

— Clare London

#men

What's a feminist?" Julie asked. "Someone who thinks women are fish," Barton replied. He was smiling at Lily. "And that men are bicycles, which makes us basically useless to anyone of the fish persuasion. But it does categorize us as creatures who exist solely for the purpose of being ridden. ↗

— Dianne Dixon

#humor #men