#humor

This soft grass suggests 'softness' to me, but also at the same time 'lying-down-ness'. ↗

— Louise Rennison

#humor

Try again. No no no, eyes up, eyes up! When you bow to someone you look at them, not at the floor. Don't look at her in the eye though lad, that's rude. And not THERE, either. ↗

— Stephen Deas

#humor

Check her out. She‟s fuckin‟ hot.” “Wedding band,” I say. “She sings in one?" “No, jackass. She's wearing one. ↗

— Caprice Crane

#humor

Playful,” Amanda repeated, shaking her head. The idea contradicted all her long-held ideas of romance and sex. One did not “play” in bed. What did he mean? Was he implying that sexual partners enjoyed jumping on the mattress and throwing pillows, as children did? ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor

It's not the books by Stephen King that I read, I need protection from the things in my head . . . ↗

— Jimmy Buffett

#humor #humor

Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night ↗

— W.C. Fields

#humor

I'm a virgin, Ariel," I whispered conspiratorially. "Sealed up like a Swiss bank account. ↗

— Shelly Crane

#humor #virgin #humor

Self editing is the path to the dark side. Self editing leads to self delusion, self delusion leads to missed mistakes, missed mistakes lead to bad reviews. Bad reviews are the tools of the dark side. ↗

— Eric T. Benoit

#humor #reviews #yoda #humor

Can I view thee panting, lying On thy stomach, without sighing; Can I unmoved see thee dying On a log Expiring frog! ↗

— Charles Dickens

#humor

Do not stand downwind from a sweaty person... ↗

— Ivana Hruba

#humor