#humor

Stop kicking me! I do not want to pee right now! ↗

— Martin Leicht

#humor #humor

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. ↗

— George Carlin

#equality #feminism #humanism #humor #inspirational

It's my experience that you first feel the impulse to write in your chest. It's like falling in love, only more so. It feels like something criminal. It feels like unspeakably wild sex. So, think: When you feel the overpowering need to go out and find some unspeakably wild sex, do you rush to tell your mom about it? ↗

— Carolyn See

#writing #experience

I had a religious experience at a crosswalk. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #religion #experience

Two things that matter to me. Emotional resonance and rocket launchers. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#humor

I knew it, I just knew it! The person who had the job of writing my life's dialogue used to work on a very low budget soap opera. ↗

— Marian Keyes

#family

The latter. She had a good run," Sook said, doing a little shrug. It was his usual response to death at Mapleshade, and it was a safe bet that he felt that way about himself. Like most twice-widowed, Korea-vet, nature-loving, gun-enthusiast, bilingual, weed-connoisseur great grandfathers of five, he'd lived a full life. ↗

— Lisa Lutz

#humor #way-with-words #death

Gingerly, Daniel reached toward the infant. "What if she doesn't like me?" "She'll spit acid in your eye and you'll die a horrible death," Kara joked. ↗

— Jacqueline Diamond

#death

Tall, dark, and gruesome." -Tori ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor

I may be a burglar...but I'm an honest one, I hope, more or less. ↗

— J.R.R. Tolkien

#humor