#ian

If you do bad stuff and don't repent, you go to hell," Orc said, like he was begging for a refutation. "Yeah, well, you know what? If Howard's in hell, I guess we can all have a big get-together soon enough. a ↗

— Michael Grant

#funny #get-togethers #hell #orc #repenting

Propping the mirror against the wall near the door, he waved a hand at it and clipped, "Drustan: Cian MacKeltar. Cian: Drustan MacKeltar." "Dageus," Drustan's voice was soft as velvet, never a good sign, "why are you introducing me to a mirror? ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#dageus #drustan #funny #highlander #karen-marie-moning

At this time of year it's easy to forget the true meaning of Christianity - the lies, the corruption, the abuse. ↗

— Banksy

#art #christianity #christmas #priest #religion

I'm a librarian in town,' she began. 'You sure about that?' The words popped out before he could stop them. Annabelle raised her eyebrows. 'Fairly. It's my job and so far no one has told me to go away when I show up for work.' smooth, Stryker, he thought, very smooth. 'I was expecting someone wearing glasses. You know. Because librarians read a lot.' The raised eyebrows turned into a frown. 'You need to get out of the barn more. ↗

— Susan Mallery

#awkward-encounters #foot-in-mouth #funny #librarians #shane

Who are you?’ Gaia gasped. The girl froze for a moment. Looked at her. Smiled and said, ‘Who am I? I’m the Breeze, bitch! ↗

— Michael Grant

#breeze-quote #brianna #funny #gaia #humor

I glance down his body. He's still wearing his shorts and his shirt, and I still have my T-shirt on. Jeez-- talk about wham, bam, thank you ma'am. ↗

— E.L. James

#anastasia-steele #christian-grey #e-l-james #fifty-shades #fifty-shades-freed

I wash the clothes, rinse them and then scrub them again. Will that square little box do that? I am not using any fancy machines when my hands will do. ↗

— Renita D'Silva

#humour #india #indian #indian-fiction #women-s-fiction

Do I look like I want to be involved in your teen love saga? Ask someone who cares. ↗

— Priya Ardis

#coming-of-age #e-books #ebooks #fairy-tales #merlin

My grandfather felt at home with his lunatics. ↗

— Thomas Ligotti

#home

Every twenty minutes on the Appalachian Trail, Katz and I walked farther than the average American walks in a week. For 93 percent of all trips outside the home, for whatever distance or whatever purpose, Americans now get in a car. On average, the total walking of an American these days - that's walking of all types: from car to office, from office to car, around the supermarket and shopping malls - adds up to 1.4 miles a week...That's ridiculous. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#appalachian-trail #cars #hiking #transporation #walking