#if

But there are things I want to do before I die, a whole list that I know I probably won't get to, but I'm sure as hell going to try. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#life #humor

Don’t think about it. Don’t think about what could have been. It’s too unbearable. ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#humor #life #humor

They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines." "Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce." "We need more special effects and dance numbers. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#life #life-philosophy #humor

Who do readers expect to see when they pick up this book? Who has won the Most Troubled Romantic Lead at the BookWorld Awards seventy-seven times in a row? Me. All me. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humor #wuthering-heights #humor

You can share in my joy, but I don’t want to share my misery. No, I want to give away my misery. Go ahead, take it all.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #joy #miserable #misery #selfish

Smartass Disciple: Why we shouldn’t judge others? Master of Stupidity: Don’t! Unless you are paid for it. ↗

— Toba Beta

#judge #life #paid #truth #humor

If life is what you make it then make mine like my eggs, over easy. ↗

— Matthew Benoit

#life #humor

Wow. Who would want a fish for a pet when they could have a turtle?! ↗

— Christopher Paul Curtis

#true-to-life #humor

Make sure she can reach you 24hours a day. ↗

— Harry H. Harrison Jr.

#raising-a-girl #raising-kids #family

Do you have a name I asked?" I asked. "Yes." He stared back at me, blinking. "What is it?" "Clover." He looked away and typed something into the computer. His mouth kept twitching, like he was trying to hold in laughter. "Seriously?" He pushed his sleeve up, giving me a view of a blue clover tattooed on his forearm. "I'm half Irish." And half shithead. ↗

— Tara Kelly

#humor #humor