#in

I must go down to the seas again to find where I buried the hatchet with Yesterday. ↗

— Janet Frame

#humor

I decided to irritate him, on the premise that it couldn't make my situation any worse. ↗

— Jeff Somers

#humor

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. It was the future, and everything sucked. ↗

— Greg Nagan

#first-sentence #first-words #humor #opening-lines #parody

Go to her," Grimalkin said, backing away. "Wake her up. I will attempt to rouse Goodfellow once more. Perhaps he will waken if claws are applied in a strategically important area... ↗

— Paul Adams

#grimalkin #humor #humor

If you want to dance the dance then you better learn the steps, the world has enough pretenders. If you want to practice sex then you better find a partner, and to love you must surrender. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#life-and-living #love #relationship #romantic #humor

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. The happiness of a married man depends on the people he has not married. One should always be in love - that's the reason one should never marry. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #love #marriage #humor

I had taken the photograph from afar (distance being the basic glitch in our relationship), using my Nikon and zoom lens while hiding behind a fake marble pillar. I was hiding because if he knew I'd been secretly photographing him for all these months he would think I was immature, neurotic and obsessive. I'm not. I'm an artist. Artists are always misunderstood.(Thwonk) ↗

— Joan Bauer

#humor #infatuation #insecurity #shyness #stalking

When the world has once begun to use us ill, it afterwards continues the same treatment with less scruple or ceremony, as men do to a whore. ↗

— Jonathan Swift

#inspirational #life #satire #humor

I'd like to show you who's the boss, but I'm afraid it would only confirm that you are. ↗

— Jane Seabrook

#inspirational #humor

As a confirmed melancholic, I can testify that the best and maybe only antidote for melancholia is action. However, like most melancholics, I suffer also from sloth. ↗

— Edward Abbey

#cures #depression #depression-humor #modern-life #humor