#in

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner. ↗

— Jay Leno

#announced #back #divorce #getting #hope

Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issue. ↗

— Jay Leno

#asked #baseball #because #during #fact

The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets. ↗

— Jay Leno

#bullets #changing #crime #just #just be

According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it. ↗

— Jay Leno

#bill #bill clinton #book #clinton #duh

I didn't realize it was October until I saw the Chicago Cubs choking. ↗

— Jay Leno

#chicago cubs #choking #cubs #i #october

In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously. ↗

— Jay Leno

#america #anonymously #doing #everyone #good

My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic? ↗

— Jay Leno

#important #me #paper #plastic #something

Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference. ↗

— Jay Leno

#bill clinton #bush #clinton #course #day

People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it. ↗

— Jay Leno

#lot #mind #money #people #working

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. ↗

— Jay Leno

#best way #comedy #lot #money #ruin