#in

It's not how you look, it's how you feel in the dark ↗

— Paula Wall

#humor

What kind of monster are you anyway? You should be more humane, Gennady!" "I was humane when I was alive," said the vampire. ↗

— Sergei Lukyanenko

#vampire-humor #humor

My left hand is my bad hand. I spank it with my right hand. You might call it clapping, but I call it discipline. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#applause #clap #clapping #discipline #funny

What's a fracking Cylon? ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#stating-the-obvious #humor

I think of rounds of editing as hammer time. Then, when they interrupt my writing, I can say... *shakes head* Nah, I just can't do it. Although when I come across a brilliant line, I do think, Can't touch this. And when I'm worried I'm overwriting a scene, I think, Hammer, don't hurt 'em. ↗

— Brent Weeks

#writing #humor

There's a fine mascara line between genius and insanity ↗

— Josh Stern

#humor

As someone who grew up in the Bronx, I certainly learned my share of four-letter words, but none are more powerful than nice. ↗

— Linda Kaplan Thaler

#inspirational #self-improvement #humor

Seriously, Jack, I think you might be the only guy in this city who hasn’t read his stuff. Collin McCann is like the Carrie Bradshaw of Chicago men.” “You mean Terry Bradshaw,” Jack corrected. “No, Carrie,” Wilkins repeated. “You know, Sarah Jessica Parker. Sex and the City.” A silence fell over the room as Collin and Jack stared at Wilkins, seriously fearing for the fate of men. ↗

— Julie James

#fbi #funny #humor #julie-james #men

I jumped as Finn seemingly materialized next to me. I couldn’t tell if he was talking about the ocean or my desire to be close to him. I lost all train of thought as he fixed his blue eyes on me. “What are you doing here?” I said, a little too spastic. “Baking cookies,” he smirked at me. “You shouldn’t tease me like that, it’s dangerous. I take baked goods very seriously.” A slow smile formed on his lips. “Dangerous happens to be my specialty,” he said in a low voice, taking a step closer to me. My entire body warmed. He was like my own personal bonfire. ↗

— Kristen Day

#humor #stasia #humor

For it was intelligence that was the thin line between endearing rapscallion and idiot bastard. - Éibhear the Contemptible ↗

— G.A. Aiken

#intelligence #humor