#insult

Madam Dorothea shot him a dark look. "If you were half as funny as you thought you were, my boy, you'd be twice as funny as you are. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#insults #philosophical #funny

I'll be supposed upon a book, his face is the worst thing about him. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#insult #pompey #funny

I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#insult #humor

Captain Jibby looked at the door, clenched his teeth, and worked his face into a scowl so fierce you would think the door had insulted his mother - which, for the record, it had not. ↗

— Cuthbert Soup

#funny #insult #mother #funny

How now, my sweet creature of bombast! How long is't ago, Jack, since thou saw'st thien own knee? ↗

— William Shakespeare

#funny #insult #prince-hal #funny

If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#harvard #humor #innuendo #naughty #yale

She was my friend because she was kind and funny but she had a face like two oysters fused together in a Star Trek matter transporter accident. ↗

— Andrew S. Hinkinson

#insult #looks #funny

And since when is stealing people's possessions the call of God? you are all hypocrites who have suddenly come into power, and you don't know how to handle it ↗

— Dalia Sofer

#funny #insult #septembers-of-shiraz #funny

Hey, look—your girlfriend is saying something." Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl? ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #insults #puberty #humor

May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #insult #irs #malediction #humor