#is

And when Franz Ferdinand pays, everybody pays! ↗

— Thomas Pynchon

#humor #prophetic #humor

We're on a planet, relax! ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#philosophy #wisdom #humor

I don't need an invitation to step over your threshold. -Cristophe ↗

— Lili St. Crow

#humor #lili-st-crow #strange-angels #humor

The Theist tells us that the truth is god exists, the Atheist tells us that the truth is there is no god, while the truth tells us we don't know. ↗

— Kodai Okuda

#knowledge #philosophy #religion #science #wisdom

It's very good of you--" "No, no, not at all. It's my hobby. Not proposing to people, I don't mean, but investigating things. Well, cheer-frightfully-ho and all that. And I'll call again, if I may." "I will give the footman orders to admit you," said the prisoner, gravely, "you will always find me at home. ↗

— Dorothy L. Sayers

#gallows-humor #prisoner #proposal #humor

The cat arrived with a bottle of Scotch. ↗

— Christopher S. Wren

#humor #whiskey #humor

He sees me when I'm lying. He hears me when I flirt. ↗

— Candace Jane Kringle

#humor #teen-romance #humor

Everything is, the way it is, for a reason. Or it isn't. Or neither. Or both. It's so hard to tell. It's so hard to tell you're a mile away by the Luke in your eye. ↗

— Alistair McHarg

#humor #manic-depresion #recovery #word-association #humor

She groaned as her face turned to press against the rosewood floor. "Welly, remind me to order a better mattress for my bed. This one is far too firm." "Oh, Eliza," Wellington gasped, now remembering why he was in these lush surroundings. "No broken nose, I hope." "S'all right," Braun slurred. Her voiced dropped to a whisper. "My ample bosom broke my fall. ↗

— Philippa Ballantine

#ministry-of-peculiar-occurrences #philippa-ballantine #tee-morris #humor

How many kids are in the Graveyard?" "A bunch." "Who sends your supplies?" "George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget." "How often do you receive new arrivals?" "About as often as you beat your wife. ↗

— Neal Shusterman

#humorous #risa-ward #sarcasm #sarcastic #snark