#is

I want to roll my eyes, but I'm pretty soon they're going to get stuck in the back of my head, and penis puns are really not worth my permanent facial damage. ↗

— Lauren Morrill

#funny #penis-jokes #funny

Postcards and postcolonialism are two things I advocate for people who can't afford to go on vacation. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #postcolonialism #vacation #funny

Lord Carradice managed to look wicked, smug, and saintly, all at the same time. ↗

— Anne Gracie

#historical-romance #humour #romance #funny

When one's unconscious is full of vice, nothing realizes inner potential like hypocrisy. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #hypocrisy #potential #self-actualization #vice

Peaches found herself wondering if Mary, a tiny brunette with an unprepossessing manner and less than ‘stellar’ work ethics, had to play Where’s Waldo to find Steve’s dick beneath his gigantic waistline. ↗

— A.T. Hicks

#funny #outrageous-behavior #penis-size #funny

One must binge constantly to remain self-employed. To sober up would result in getting fired for over-efficiency. ↗

— Bauvard

#binging #employment #funny #humor #sobriety

I did not approve of your action—I was merely congratulating myself. What you mistook for clapping was merely me giving myself multiple high fives.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#applaud #applause #approve #clap #clapping

An understanding washed over Darren. “You plan on me running.” “For many, many years.” The crooked smile on Trent’s mouth sent a shiver throughout my body. He was utterly dangerous when he wanted to be. - Vampyre Kisses ↗

— Elizabeth J. Kolodziej

#the-last-which-series #vampires #vampyre-kisses #werewolf #witches

Henry Denton: You Brits really don't have a sense of humor do you? Elsie: We do if something's funny, sir. ↗

— Julian Fellowes

#humor #funny

I'm English. We're about as tactful as a hot poker up the bum, most of the time. ↗

— L.H. Thomson

#funny #giggles #humor #funny