#is

Even a fool recognizes that there is great sadness in a bucket of tears. But only a wise man thinks to conserve water and use that bucket to wash his car. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #sadness #tear #wisdom #wise-man

Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #moroseness #russia #satire #sorrow

What are you talking about?" Narcissus demanded. "I am amazing. Everyone knows this." "Amazing at pure suck," Leo said. "If I was as suck as you, I'd drown myself. Oh wait, you already did that. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#narcissistic #narcissus #suck #humor

I can't go on, I'll go on. ↗

— Samuel Beckett

#drama #existentialism #fiction #humor #nihilism

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me.   ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#giving #greed #greedy #humor #receive

Hey, Carlos," the Professor says when he walks in. "How was REACH?" "It sucked." "Can you be more specific?" my guardian asks. "It really sucked," I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor #perfect-chemistry #sarcasm #humor

I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#huey-lewis #humor #news #weird #funny

I have a beard of fog that I wear on misty mornings. It’s not cigarette smoke, but I’d understand if you wanted to shave it off and inhale it.   ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cigarette #fog #funny #humor #inhale

I have to return some videotapes ↗

— Bret Easton Ellis

#bale #bret #christian #easton #ellis

I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones. ↗