#it

Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in. ↗

— Janeane Garofalo

#humor #individuality #taste #humor

I did not tell Fat this, but technically he had become a Buddha. It did not seem to me like a good idea to let him know. After all, if you are a Buddha you should be able to figure it out for yourself. ↗

— Philip K. Dick

#humor #self-awareness #spirituality #humor

Dios," he said, addressing himself to Jace. "What happened to you, brother? You look as if a pack of wolves tried to tear you apart." "That's either a shockingly good guess," said Jace, "or you heard about what happened. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace #raphael #humor

He kissed me for a long moment, holding my shoulders, perhaps to keep me from pressing my whole body against his. Then he tried to lift my bag. "My God," he said. "What happened?" "I found out one may check out twenty books at a time from the school library. ↗

— Laura Whitcomb

#humor #kiss #laura-whitcomb #library #reading

I've found the best way to revise your own work is to pretend that somebody else wrote it and then to rip the living shit out of it. ↗

— Don Roff

#humor #revision #writing #humor

Woah,' I said, blocking the doorway. 'You can't come in here. This is the girls' room.' Even as it came out of my mouth, I knew it sounded dumb. Dumb, I thought and maybe even wrong. You...are a boy, aren't you?' I asked. 'I mean, don't take that the wrong way or anything -' J.Lo is a boy, yes.' I let that go. So...you Boov have boys and girls...just like us?' Of course,' said J.Lo. 'Do not be ridicumlous.' I smiled a wan little smile. 'Sorry.' The Boov have seven magnificent genders. There is boy, girl, girlboy, boygirl, boyboy, boyboygirl, and boyboyboyboy.' I had absolutely no response to this. ↗

— Adam Rex

#gender #humor #politeness #humor

She had been a teenager once, and she knew that, despite the apparent contradictions, a person's teenage years lasted well into their fifties. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humor #humorous #immaturity #teenagers #teens

Perfect sanity is a myth propagated by straitjacket salesmen. ↗

— Rebecca McKinsey

#humor #insanity #myth #sanity #humor

You have to tell him ‘go toodles, Bits, go toodles for momma,’” I said, pitching my voice high in imitation, “or else he won’t go.” Blane looked at me. “I’m not doing that,” he said flatly. “But then he’ll go on the bed,” I protested. “How about I just point my gun at him,” he deadpanned. ↗

— Tiffany A. Snow

#blane #humor #kathleen-turner #humor

Humor (is) the process that allows one to brush reality aside when it gets too distressing. ↗

— André Breton

#reality #humor