#iv

I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.
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— Jarod Kintz

#avoiding #evasive #fear #funny #humor

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. ↗

— Steven Wright

#perspective #walking #humor

In the name of the Pizza Lord. Charge! ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #motivation #humor

I think I am, therefore, I am... I think. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #philosophy #subjectivity #humor

I’m on a government watch list. But I’m not interested, because government watches only work twenty minutes out of every hour.
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— Jarod Kintz

#efficiency #entitled #entitlement #funny #government

Piece of Heaven?" "No, that other place I'm going to go to for thinking what I'm thinking. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#heaven #hell #humor #sydney-sage #the-indigo-spell

Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#fun #humor #revenge #violence #forgiveness

Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#humor #live-in-the-moment #napping #humor

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#giving #greed #greedy #humor #receive

I sent a quick text to Adrian: I have a hickey! You can’t ever kiss me again. I honestly hadn’t expected him to be awake this early, so I was surprised to get a response: Okay. I won’t kiss you on your neck again. So typical of him. No! You can’t ever kiss me ANYWHERE. You said you were going to keep your distance. I’m trying, he wrote back. But you won’t keep your distance from me. I didn’t dignify that with a response. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#aftermath #freaking-out #hickey #humor #kisses