#jo

A man could shoot a squirrel out of a tree from a distance of sixty feet. But he couldn't vomit into a bucket or pee into a pot only two feet away. It was one of the great mysteries of life. ↗

— Maggie Osborne

#man-jokes #mystery-of-life #silver-lining #life

He caught Ben's come in the napkin, the smell making his mouth water harder than any chile sauce could. ↗

— B.A. Tortuga

#hand-job #hand-job-in-a-mexican-restaurant #menage #men

I want my life to be the greatest story. My very existence will be the greatest poem. Watch me burn. Love always, Charlotte ↗

— Charlotte Eriksson

#dreams #existence #goals #growing-up #inspiration

I don't mind exercise but it's a private activity. Joggers should run in a wheel - like hamsters - because I don't want to look at them. And I really hate people who go on an airplane in jogging outfits. That's a major offense today, even bigger than Spandex bicycle pants. You see eighty-year-old women coming on the plane in jogging outfits for comfort. Well my comfort - my mental comfort - is completely ruined when I see them coming. You're on an airplane, not in your bedroom, so please! And I really hate walkathons: blocking traffic, people patting themselves on the back. The whole attitude offends me. They have this smug look on their faces as they hold you up in traffic so that they can give two cents to some charity. ↗

— John Waters

#jogging #attitude

Apologies aren't something you want to get in the habit of practicing in the mirror ↗

— Jonathan Lethem

#music

When we are sure that we are on the right road there is no need to plan our journey too far ahead. No need to burden ourselves with doubts and fears as to the obstacles that may bar our progress. We cannot take more than one step at a time. ↗

— Orison Swett Marden

#bar #burden #cannot #doubts #far

Clothes should be as interesting on the inside as on the outside. Even if you enjoy it totally alone, it's important. ↗

— Geoffrey Beene

#clothes #enjoy #even #important #inside

The explorer who will not come back or send back his ships to tell his tale is not an explorer, only an adventurer; and his sons are born in exile. ↗

— Ursula K. Le Guin

#journey #metaphorical #research #travel #attitude

His attitude, though always bad, has changed since he helped me prep the Pandora charm for Morgan. He thinks I'm falling for her, as ridiculous as that sounds, and he might be tempted to take matters into his hands. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#jonathan #quen #rachen-morgan #romance #the-hollows

Well when I made my first record I thought it would be a good joke to have me on one side, have the lable say John Fahey on one side, and this guy Blind Joe Death on the other side. ↗

— John Fahey

#death #first #good #guy #i