#kin

Before we had the kids, my husband and I were traveling a lot and working and really enjoying our lives and each other. We both love the theater and books and travel and so we were really having a lot of fun. ↗

— Patricia Heaton

#books #both #each #enjoying #fun

I've learned to look like I'm listening to long confusing plots of cartoons and comic books when I'm actually sound asleep or making grocery shopping lists in my head. ↗

— Patricia Heaton

#asleep #books #cartoons #comic #comic books

Men are very competent in their workplace - and this is going to sound sexist - women are better at running households and juggling lots of things, kids and scheduling and that kind of thing. ↗

— Patricia Heaton

#competent #going #households #juggling #kids

You kind of think people get sick of you after a while, but apparently not. ↗

— Patricia Heaton

#apparently #get #kind #people #sick

Are we changing the idea of what beauty is? Let's hope so. I'm not the typical Hollywood beauty. Let's hope we're looking at the insides of people a little more. ↗

— Anne Heche

#changing #hollywood #hope #i #idea

I know that a man who shows me his wealth is like the beggar who shows me his poverty; they are both looking for alms from me, the rich man for the alms of my envy, the poor man for the alms of my guilt. ↗

— Ben Hecht

#beggar #both #envy #guilt #his

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#business #came #casino #exit #fire

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#severed #stocking #ultimate

Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#disillusion #go #here #i #i am

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#fix #gonna #i #joke #last