#l

I wondered what he would have thought if he'd known that I'd gleaned most of my information from reading historical romance novels. ↗

— Nicole Luiken

#humor #wit #humor

Don't be humble. Your not that great. ↗

— Golda Meir

#inspirational #humor

Well, what I don't understand is why people get all dressed up and drive to church so they can sit there and get scolded. Seems to me it'd be a whole lot easier for the to just stay home in their pj's, eat pancakes, and get yelled at over the radion. ↗

— Beth Hoffman

#religion #humor

Luck was a joke. Even good luck was just bad luck with its hair combed. ↗

— Stephen King

#lucky-quarter #humor

Nothing of importance happened today. ↗

— King George III

#history #humor #humor

This isn't sex." I blinked. "Oh. Then what is it?" "An emergency!" I started to argue and then thought twice about it. Considering what Mircea would do to Pritkin if he ever found out about this...Yeah. Emergency sounded good. ↗

— Karen Chance

#territorial #humor

Now then," he mused, "how does one fly a dragon? ↗

— Nicole Sager

#dragons #humor #nicole-sager #humor

Out of curiosity, when do I grow up and become a fullfledged man with a penis?” “When words like ‘hump day’ don’t make you giggle like a twelve-year-old,” he retorted, blowing smoke my way. “Wow, that long? ↗

— Dani Alexander

#growing-up #humor #hump-day #humor

My love is expansive. Your love is expensive.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#expansive #expensive #funny #humor #life

It's better to have loved and lost than to be nagged about buying a damn anniversary gift every year. ↗

— Joey Green

#love #paraphrased #humor