#la

We scarified a mosquito. I bet that's what did it. It was probably a virgin too. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor #humor

If there really is such a thing as turning in one's grave, Shakespeare must get a lot of exercise. ↗

— George Orwell

#classics #drama #interpretation #shakespeare #art

I’m not going to lecture you on the error of your ways. Not until you fetch me a podium and a microphone. I’ll also need a screen, a projector, and a laser pointer. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#errors #funny #humor #laser #lecture

(When asked: But you have a very open relationship with your fans.) Yes. We have an open relationship. Obviously they can see other authors if they want, and I can see other readers. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #interview #relationship #humor

I'm attracted to a lot of hot guys. If Chris Hemsworth were here, I'd light him up like a firecracker with how fast I'd jump on him. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#leila #night-prince #once-burned #vlad #humor

She shrugs."Men" "Men." "If we can send one man to the moon, why can't we send them all there? ↗

— Cynthia Hand

#humor #humor

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#classic-insult #drama-critic #humor #katharine-hepburn #humor

Sometimes I do smart things. Sometimes I do dumb things. Most of the time I don't do anything. ↗

— Gorilla Rising Hintz

#laziness #humor

Men are not nearly as evolved as women are, nor as intelligent, evidently ↗

— Sarah MacLean

#humor #sarah-maclean #the-season #wit #humor

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor