#la

These Kingsguard knights are as useless as nipples on a breastplate. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#lannister-sense-of-humor #humor

ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#blacksmith #clothing #humor #war #humor

Sadness isn't sadness. It's happiness in a black jacket. Tears are not tears. They're balls of laughter dipped in salt. Death is not death. It's life that's jumped off a tall cliff. ↗

— Paul McCartney

#death

We're standing here, beat to shit, walking away from a crime scene where either or both of us could have bought it, and you're asking me to marry you?" "Perfect timing. ↗

— J.D. Robb

#eve-dallas #glory #glory-in-death #death

I played the trumpet a bit like a porker, I think. ↗

— Boris Vian

#i #i think #like #played #think

Will you sleep with me?" he asked softly, before grinning suddenly. "In the tub? ↗

— Shelly Crane

#clara #eli #humor #tub #humor

There is no other occupation in the world that so closely resembled enslavement as the career of a film star. ↗

— Louise Brooks

#closely #enslavement #film #film star #occupation

Even Tom Sawyer had a girlfriend and to talk about adults without talking about their sex drives is like talking about a window without glass. ↗

— Grace Metalious

#drives #even #girlfriend #glass #had

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay ↗

— Marcia Carrington

#food #foodie #health #humor #food

Dracula is a morning person compared to me. ↗

— Kim Dallmeier

#humor #morning #morning-person #humor