#la

A brick could be used as a doorstop. But why bother? To promote an open-door policy, I had all the walls knocked down. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

For months it seemed that a revolution was certain. But instead, slavery seems more likely now. The working class no longer has the physical resistance for a revolution, and the Entente is too strong, and Russia is too weak. ↗

— Agnes Smedley

#class #instead #likely #longer #months

This fellow is wise enough to play the fool; And to do that well craves a kind of wit: He must observe their mood on whom he jests, The quality of persons, and the time, And, like the haggard, check at every feather That comes before his eye. This is a practise As full of labour as a wise man's art For folly that he wisely shows is fit; But wise men, folly-fall'n, quite taint their wit. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#plays #poetry #viola #wise #art

Pulling the plug on the BlackBerry could cost corporate America millions of dollars. The BlackBerry is more than e-mail but a handheld office, and if you shut down the BlackBerry, you shut off the data that powers American business. ↗

— Al Smith

#american #blackberry #business #corporate #corporate america

If my semen had chunks of crumbled brick in it, would you use yogurt to try to impregnate your fireplace? 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I loved the house the way you would any new house, because it is populated by your future, the family of children who will fill it with noise or chaos and satisfying busy pleasures. ↗

— Jane Smiley

#because #busy #chaos #children #family

I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#age #cannibal #cannibalism #death #food

Bricks could be used as words in the saying of a mason. When words and actions match up, you have a structure people could live in. It's a lot to live up to, and a lot to live in.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Women show men beauty in things beyond their ambitions. Women tell men to stop and smell the roses. ↗

— Criss Jami

#beauty #contentment #enjoyment #happiness #joy

A brick and a blanket could be used as characters in a story full of clever dialogue, such as:
 Brick: I checked everywhere, and it’s not where I last left it. Did you touch my penis sandwich?
 Blanket: What? Eww no, why would I touch your penis sandwich?
 Brick: Well, would it make you more comfortable if I put on some condiments and rolled on a condom?
 Blanket: Dude, or lady, whatever you are. I’m not gay—or straight. I’m not even bisexual. I’m a blanket, and I’m asexual. I’m also not hungry now. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny