#la

Huh," said Percy. "Never seen Jason fly before. He looks like a blond superman. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#so-percy #hilarious

So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the [L.A.] riots... and all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me... 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.' ...Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This is a land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime, but I appreciate you trying to be, you know, Diplomatic. You gotta see English crime. It's hilarious, you don't know if you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article - front page of the paper - one day, in England: 'Yesterday, some Hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shafsbry.' Wooooo... 'The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose! What if they become roughians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shafsbry tonight. ↗

— Bill Hicks

#england-cricket-team #hooligans #humor #roughians #humor

He always believed that people live up or down to the amount of trust you put in them. ↗

— Hilary Duff

#people #trust #hilarious

so the story goes but theres something you should know before i walk away and i blow the ending i never want to be without you oh no here i go now you know what i feel about you theres no running must have been wrong to doubt you oh there i go no control and i'm fallen so now you know ↗

— Hilary Duff

#hilary-duff #now-you-know #hilarious

Today, salute, mile, serve, deep. And I am never doing that again.-Kavi ↗

— Hilari Bell

#hilari-bell #kavi #hilarious

Having to talk to people was the one thing, but soliciting conversation was something else. If I acted squirmy or didn't make eye contact, they would want to know what was wrong, and I would have to say, Nothing, since nothing really was wrong. Nothing is an easy thing to feel but a difficult thing to express ↗

— Hilary Thayer Hamann

#evie #hamann #interaction #hilarious

I was like, 'Dude, make me look bad. Please. I want to look ugly. I want to wear orange pants. ↗

— Evanescence

#hilarious

The point is, if we find out you’ve been horrible to Harry —” “— and make no mistake, we’ll hear about it. “even if you won’t let Harry use the fellytone —” “Telephone ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#dursley #hilarious #lupin #tonks #hilarious

There's a time I can recall Four years old and three feet tall Trying to touch the stars and the cookie jar And both were out of reach ↗

— Hilary Weeks

#reaching #hilarious

Delores is a gorgeous name, for a gorgeous girl. Plus, it rhymes with clitoris...and I really know my way around them. Big fan. ↗

— Emma Chase

#pick-up-line #hilarious