#la

There are four on whose pots the Holy One, blessed he, knocked, only to find them filled with piss, and these are they: Adam, Cain, the wicked Balaam, and Hezekiah." Again, an abrupt transposition from the divine to the domestic, from upper to lowly spheres, occurs in the midrash. The homely image of the Holy One knocking on pots apparently derives from the practice of tapping on a clay or earthen pot to hear its ring in order to decide if it is worthy of holding wine. In current Hebrew usage, the expression 'to assess or gauge someone's pot' still denotes taking in the measure of a person's character. From Adam's answer to God, we learn that he turned out to be a pisspot. ↗

— Shuli Barzilai

#humor #wordplay #home

The sticky heaps of jellied marshmallows and tinted fruit that appear on too many tables should be shudderingly avoided along with their sickeningly sweet mayonnaise but my POTATO SALAD is something quite different. ↗

— Margaret Yardley Potter

#salads #home

Happy National Philanthropy Day! Do a good deed today and make the lives of others better. Things you can do(if you can afford it): a. Pay for a student to attend College or University b. Make a donation to a bride and groom before they get married c. Donate time to volunteer at a hospital or nursing home d. Buy food and give it to a homeless individual e. Volunteer at a soup kitchen ↗

— Kambiz Mostofizadeh

#national-philanthropy-day #food

Bricks could be used to stock vending machines. You may be out of a home, but I’ll never be out of bricks to sell you.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Lahore, the second largest city of Pakistan, ancient capital of the Punjab, home to nearly as many people as New York, layered like a sedimentary plain with the accreted history of invaders from the Aryans to the Mongols to the British. ↗

— Mohsin Hamid

#home

and we laugh and laugh and all I know is at this moment I feel like I can do anything I want and be anyone I want and go anywhere on the globe and still call it home ↗

— Kirsten Smith

#happiness #laughter #wanderlust #home

Read Protect America Blog Articles Tagged: best home automation http://www.protectamerica.com/home-se... ↗

— Boemsoaz

#home

I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#humor #inspirational #philosophy-of-life #psychological #humor

Only silly Dorothys arrive in a magical land and want to go home. You don't want to be a silly stinking Dorothy, do you? They're reviled throughout every wondrous land. Did you know the name Dorothy translates as "squandered opportunity"? ↗

— Bill Willingham

#magical-lands #squandered-opportunity #home

Tex's head snapped in my direction. Fuckin' A, woman, you've never had a s'more? he boomed I shook my head. Christ, everyone's gotta have a s'more before they die. Fuck that shit, I'll build a fire in my backyard tonight and I'll stop by Kumar's on the way home to get the stuff. Everyone can come by- ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#hector #hilarious #regret #rock-chick #sadie