#ld

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#gracefully #grow #i #meet #old

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire? ↗

— Rita Rudner

#better #dresses #fire #hold #looks

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#children #enough #i #know #parents

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#me #prom #tell #where #would

The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#comedians #competitors #dancing #female #fewer

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#amount #exceed #grieving #him #man

Ever since I was a kid, I just loved those comedians on TV who would just have fun with the language. ↗

— Alan Rudolph

#ever #fun #have fun #i #just

Lord knows I had what you could call many fashion Don'ts in my day. ↗

— Maya Rudolph

#could #day #fashion #had #i

Before I had children, everything about my life was devoted to Saturday Night Live. ↗

— Maya Rudolph

#before #children #devoted #everything #had

I was a loud child, and if my mother sang to me, I would be quiet. ↗

— Maya Rudolph

#i #loud #me #mother #quiet