#ld

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? ↗

— Steven Wright

#how #know #misspelled #were #word

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it. ↗

— Steven Wright

#collection #i #keep #largest #perhaps

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side. ↗

— Steven Wright

#future #i #off #only #peripheral

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. ↗

— Steven Wright

#child #eventually #had #i #kid

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter. ↗

— Steven Wright

#i #last #last night #letter #me

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? ↗

— Steven Wright

#heat #saw #wave #would #you

How young can you die of old age? ↗

— Steven Wright

#die #how #old #old age #you

If God dropped acid, would he see people? ↗

— Steven Wright

#dropped #god #people #see #would

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? ↗

— Steven Wright

#should #use #you

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? ↗

— Steven Wright

#mime #shoot #use #were #would