#ld

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. ↗

...hanging out does not make one an artist. A secondhand wardrobe does not make one an artist. Neither do a hair-trigger temper, melancholic nature, propensity for tears, hating your parents, nor even HIV - I hate to say it - none of these make one an artist. They can help, but just as being gay does not make one witty (you can suck a mile of cock, as my friend Sarah Thyre puts it, it still won't make you Oscar Wilde, believe me), the only thing that makes one an artist is making art. And that requires the precise opposite of hanging out; a deeply lonely and unglamorous task of tolerating oneself long enough to push something out. ↗

— David Rakoff

#artists #humor #rent #wilde #writers

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. ↗

— Orson Welles

#dinners #doctor #four #having #intimate

I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his eyebrows. He accepted and was so grateful that he offered to trade mustaches with me. In remembrance of that special bonding moment, I still wear his mustache over my left nipple.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bald #baldness #bond #bonding #eyebrows

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? ↗

— Abraham Lincoln

#wearing #were #would

I was in the game for love. After all, where else can an old-timer with one leg, who can't hear or see, live like a king while doing the only thing I wanted to do? ↗

— Bill Veeck

#doing #else #game #hear #i

There is nothing enduring in life for a woman except what she builds in a man's heart. ↗

— Judith Anderson

#enduring #except #heart #life #man

If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the "Fuck you" signs in the world. It's impossible. ↗

— J.D. Salinger

#holden #humor #signs #humor

In my world, I am one of the luckiest humans alive. ↗

— Alexander Dale Oen

#am #humans #i #i am #luckiest

I would have hated to been locked into music for the last 20 years and not been able to have a family. ↗