#lol

Luke captured my gaze again and said, "If beauty were time, you'd be eternity." My heart stopped. I was paralysed to look away from him (...) Thankfully, another senior boy who apparently wasn't dating anyone spoke. And when the words came out of his mouth, I understood why he was girlfriendless. "If you were a booger, I'd pick you first." A lot of yuck and that's gross penetrated the table's atmosphere. A rain of crumpled napkins showered over the boy. Of course, all the guys laughed at him, including Luke, who was finally looking away from me. I was never so grateful for such a tactless comment. ↗

— Shannon Dermott

#shannon-dermott #waiting-for-mercy #beauty

Electrical shivers shoot up my leg. And my knee is such a slut! She likes it! She's that friend you have. The one who you tell you're on a diet and the next day shows up with cupcakes and says, Aww, just one won't hurt. ↗

— Jillian Dodd

#lol #dating

Death was in his eyes and hell would follow. ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#supermegafoxyawesomehot #death

Glaring at the Gasman, ter Borcht said, “Your time is coming to an end, you pathetic failure of an experiment. Vhat you say now is how you vill be remembered.” Gazzy’s blue eyes flashed. “Then you can remember me telling you to kiss my-” “Enough!” ter Borcht said. ↗

— James Patterson

#badass #cool-response #death #end #funny

All at once we were madly, clumsily, shamelessly, agonizingly in love with each other... ↗

— Vladimir Nabokov

#love #love

She spoke throught her teeth. "Almost, dear. What were the real words you used? The bad words. It's okay to say them again, just this once." I shrugged, "fine. I said'. . . just 'cause Daddy wants you to suck on his ding-a-ling. ↗

— Michael Siemsen

#father-humphrey #group-talk #lol #morgan #morgan-mother

Basia conquum," Simon said. "Or whatever their motto is." "It's 'Descensus Averno facilis est.' 'The descent into hell is easy,'" said Alec. "You just said 'Kiss the cook.'" "Dammit," said Simon. "I knew Jace was screwing with me. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny #jace #lol #simon #funny

I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#godmothers #humor #lol #funny

Leo,” Hazel gasped, “I can’t—my arms—” “Hazel,” he said. “Do you trust me?” “No!” “Me neither,” Leo admitted. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #leo-i-love-you-ok #lol #trust #funny

Claire found herself staring at his feet, which were in bunny slippers. Myrnin looked down. "What?" he asked. "They're quite comfortable." He lifted on to look at it, and the ears wobbled in the air. "Of course they are," she said. Just when she thought Myrnin was getting his mental act together, he'd do something like that. Or maybe he was just messing with her. He liked to do that, and his dark eyes were fixed on her now, assessing just how weirded-out she was. Which, on the grade scale of zero to Myrnin, wasn't much. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #lol #morganville-vampires #vamps #funny