#lol

She is INSANE," I scream, standing in the middle of Marshall's living room. "Of course, she's insane. That would be your genealogy by the way. ↗

— Addison Moore

#marshall #skyla #toxic #lol

I had to make water ” I said. It was the classic female excuse and no male in recorded history had ever questioned it. “I see ” the Inspector said and left it at that. Later I would have a quick piddle behind the caravan for insurance purposes. No one would be any the wiser. ↗

— Alan Bradley

#hilarious #lol #lol

You give frequent flyer miles with that guilt trip? ↗

— Cecily White

#guilt #guilt-trip #lol #lol

I possess everyone who sleeps in the motor court, roam their memories, and embed recurrent nightmares that will destroy their sleep for weeks after I’ve departed them.” “I’d prefer a free continental breakfast. ↗

— Dean Koontz

#lol #lol

I got home from the FBi that day, put on my pajamas got a pint of Chunky Monkey, and watched 'The Notebook'. Five times. Everyone left me alone. I suspect they were a little afraid of me. I went up to my room and listened to Taylor Swift's 'White Horse' on replay, knowing she was the only person in the world who could relate. ↗

— Annabel Monaghan

#digit #farrah #lol #lol

She may be an uggo, but that dress would turn anyone into a rock star. ↗

— Victoria Scott

#lol #rude-thoughts #lol

Staring at her, his reasons are lost to me. ↗

— Victoria Scott

#lol #omgosh #lol

The stench that surrounded me suggested that the tarp over my face had been previously used either to transport fertiliser or as toilet paper. ↗

— Annabel Monaghan

#digit #lol #lol

For refusing to collapse into an earth-devouring black hole under the force of its own staggering density, we dedicate this book to Theodore Roosevelt's left testicle. ↗

— Cracked.com

#lol

I'm more lopsided than a one legged badger!" Graypaw stopped his careful stalking to wander comically across the clearing "I will have to settle for hunting stupid mice I shall just wander up to them, and sit on them until they surrender! ↗

— Erin Hunter

#lol #wariors #warrior-cats #lol