#m

Hey there. Here's something familiar, a bat. Hope you like it. ↗

— Koushun Takami

#humor

I was eating a steak at a local restaurant last night, when a random woman said: "Y'know, you'd be much better off being a vegetarian." "Are you crazy?" I said, "The cow was a vegetarian and look what happened to it! ↗

— Quentin R. Bufogle

#vegetarianism #humor

I pulled out my cell, flipped it opened and said Hank’s name into the phone. It rang twice. “You okay?” he asked in greeting. “My life began when I met you,” I told him. There was a beat of silence. Then, I heard him say, “Sunshine – ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#romance #humor

Ironic, isn’t it?” Shawn said. “It’s not ironic at all,” Gus said. “Dude, it’s so like a black fly in your chardonnay.” “How many times do I have to tell you that’s not ironic, either?” “Rain on your wedding day?” “‘Irony’ is the use of words to convey a meaning that’s opposite to their literal meaning,” Gus said. “That stupid song came out fourteen years ago, and we still have this exact conversation at least once a week.” “Yeah,” Shawn said. “Ironic, isn’t it? ↗

— William Rabkin

#humor #irony #pysch #shawn-spencer #humor

llium snorted. “I look like a damned duck.” His words weren’t far off the mark. The feathers that had grown over the injured section were soft, white, and delicately … fluffy. “I hope to hell these baby feathers fall off and get replaced by real ones. They will, won’t they?” He sounded worried. ↗

— Nalini Singh

#humor

Hell, we my end up killing each other over something stupid next week. It's a possibility. But all I do know is what I feel for you isn't going anywhere. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humor #humor

Emma was doing something nice for Simon? Hell must be enjoying the snow day. ↗

— E.J. Stevens

#fiction #humorous #mystery #mystery-series #paranormal

I'm not going to do that." "of course you're not." Jace said. "because you live to torture me, don't you?" "Not everything, Jace, is about you." Clary said furiously. "Possibly," Jace said "But you have to admit that the majority of the things are. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace #love #humor

It says 'Shadowhunters; looking better in black than the window of our enemies since 1234." [Jace] ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Well, you'll have to wait till tomorrow. I'm out of commission." (he points to his shirt) "Look. Jammies. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor