#m

Where there is a will to conquer a man, there is a way to conquer a man. ↗

— Delilah Marvelle

#humor

I try to keep in mind” I recite dryly as I run the front sight of my pistol over his face, “that my life is only as significant, as I am to the lives of others.” He’s sobbing and won’t look up from the floor so I lean close to his ear and ask softly, “Would you say that I’m significant to your life? ↗

— Dennis Sharpe

#dark-humor #torture #humor

V tired to imagine giving up his proclivities. "My monster needs to get out. Especially now. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor

Don't you make fun of me or my children! Some babies are premature. Mine were all postmature. That's why they're so smart. Their brains had longer to develop. ↗

— Jeannette Walls

#humor #humor

[Mrs. Allen was] never satisfied with the day unless she spent the chief of it by the side of Mrs. Thorpe, in what they called conversation, but in which there was scarcely ever any exchange of opinion, and not often any resemblance of subject, for Mrs. Thorpe talked chiefly of her children, and Mrs. Allen of her gowns. ↗

— Jane Austen

#humor

My name is Kevin James Breaux and I am an author. Why does that always sound like I am introducing myself at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting? ↗

— Kevin James Breaux

#interview #humor

My liege, and madam, to expostulate What majesty should be, what duty is, Why day is day, night night, and time is time, Were nothing but to waste night, day and time. Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit, And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes, I will be brief. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#brevity #humor #art

What’s outside my head and what’s inside my head aren’t worth mentioning. What’s worth mentioning is what’s on my head – my hair. Whatever happens, I’ll still be as fashionably coiffed as I was before the war broke out and I got dementia. ↗

— Bauvard

#hair #humor #funny

After a few days, I mused, I would have no trouble. Whoever heard of a revolution of fat men? ↗

— Louis L'Amour

#humor

it’s as if the universe has a sense of humor, since at a deep level it’s impossible not to lead a spiritual life… the universe is living through you at this moment. with or without belief in god, the chain of events leading from silent awareness to physical reality remains intact. ↗

— Deepak Chopra

#spirituality #universe #humor