#m

Some other memories of the funeral have stuck in my mind. The old boy’s face, for instance, when he caught up with us for the last time, just outside the village. His eyes were streaming with tears, of exhaustion or distress, or both together. But because of the wrinkles they couldn’t flow down. They spread out, crisscrossed, and formed a smooth gloss on the old, worn face. ↗

— Albert Camus

#vivid-description #humor

If a police officer arrests a mime, does he need to tell him he has the right to remain silent. ↗

— Jess Walter

#humor

She ran out of her marriage the way a woman can run out of a pair of sandals when she decides to let go and really dash. ↗

— Stephen King

#humor

I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House-- with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone. ↗

— John F. Kennedy

#nobel-prize #white-house #humor

If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here. ↗

— Garrison Keillor

#humor

If she does have a failing, and it's obviously only a tiny one, it's that she doesn't seem particularly curious about other people, or me, anyway. ↗

— David Nicholls

#self-centered #humor

For me, that emotional payoff is what it’s all about. I want you to laugh or cry when you read a story...or do both at the same time. I want your heart, in other words. If you want to learn something, go to school. ↗

— Stephen King

#writing #humor

THE PRESOCRATIC PROBLEM [all snap flags] Parmenides named his gun The Hot Power of the Stars. His gun was one, uncreated, imperishable, timeless, changeless, perfect, spherical. Spherical was the problem. ↗

— Anne Carson

#philosophy #poetry #religion #humor

I believe it was Gayelord Hauser, the nutritionist, who said, 'You are what you eat,' but if you happen to be an intellectual, you are what you quote. ↗

— Joseph Epstein

#humor #quotatious #humor

It's a lady with a stick. Are we pirates or what?" They pondered this fact for a moment. "It's a big stick," observed one of his fellows. ↗

— Seán Cullen

#humor