#ma

The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?' ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#being funny #funny #life #nightmare #parties

The results of a new study are out this week saying that New Jersey is one of the most livable states in the country. The study has a margin of error of 100 percent. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#error #jersey #livable #margin #most

The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said 'Yes.' ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#army #asked #bidding #cheney #competitive

Human nature doesn't include all human beings. There are human beings who are indifferent to politics, religion, virtually anything. ↗

— Conor Cruise O'Brien

#beings #human #human beings #human nature #include

Man watches his history on the screen with apathy and an occasional passing flicker of horror or indignation. ↗

— Conor Cruise O'Brien

#flicker #his #history #horror #indignation

The main thing that endears the United Nations to member governments, and so enables it to survive, is its proven capacity to fail, and to be seen to fail. ↗

— Conor Cruise O'Brien

#enables #endears #fail #governments #main

You have to be able to be a good loser. You have to be okay knowing you're going to fail every day in something without getting mad and upset. ↗

— Dan O'Brien

#day #every #every day #fail #getting

The decathlon includes ten separate events and they all matter. You can't work on just one of them. ↗

— Dan O'Brien

#events #includes #just #just one #matter

When I was little, I wasn't allowed to put sugar on my breakfast cereal because it made me so hyper. ↗

— Dan O'Brien

#because #breakfast #breakfast cereal #cereal #hyper

You need to become more than one type of athlete. You have to be a sprinter, a weight man and a distance guy all in one. ↗

— Dan O'Brien

#become #distance #guy #man #more