#ma

I’m the sexiest of them all! - Carol ↗

— Matthew Leeth

#funny #horror #matthew-leeth #me #she-was-different

You gave too much rein to your imagination. Imagination is a good servant, and a bad master. The simplest explanation is always the most likely. ↗

— Agatha Christie

#occams-razor #simplicity-imagination #imagination

Are you sure you can't dematerialize? Not even a little?" "I'm sure. ↗

— Lauren Oliver

#human-problems #funny

We’re adults. I might be a little more of an adult if you’re counting years but I bet I have a lower IQ, so that puts us pretty much even. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#cute #funny #humour #romance #romantic

Somehow, having a deer preside over the ceremony of a werewolf and a girl seems oddly appropriate. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#funny #humor #marriage #funny

Grab life by the tail, and then pet it.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#animal #funny #humor #life #love

A brick could be used to increase your annual sales. But before you can sell, you’ve got to buy. For just $9.99 I’ll show you how a common brick can transform you into an uncommon salesman. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #buy

In an out-of-body experience, your astral projection comes down to gloat. In insanity, your mind goes to a nudist colony. In philanthropy, your soul ascends to purgatory. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #insanity #philanthropy #experience

Magic is a funny term,' she'd say. 'There is nothing supernatural about the earth. As long as you know what does what. ↗

— Suzanne Palmieri-Hayes

#nature #witchcraft #funny

You were lookin’ at me like you wanted to kiss me.” I force a laugh. “Yeah, right,” I say sarcastically. “Nobody’s watchin’ if you want to, you know, try it. Not to brag, but I’m somewhat of an expert. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny