#marriage

I won't waste your time with the injuries of my childhood, with my loneliness, or the fear and sadness of the years I spent inside the bitter capsule of my parents' marriage, under the reign of my father's rage, after all, who isn't a survivor from the wreck of a childhood? I have no desire to describe mine; I only want to say that in order to survive the dark and often terrifying passage of my life I came to believe certian things about myself. P. 200 ↗

— Nicole Kruass

#marriage

When a man dies, his wife is burned alive with him, but if the wife dies before her husband, the man does not suffer the same fate. If a man dies before marriage, he is given a posthumous wife. The women passionately want to be burned because they believe they will enter paradise. ↗

— Mas'udi

#ritual #sexism #marriage

My marriage counselor gives me a lot of helpful advice. She says things like ‘Naughty husband,’ and ‘Right there,’ and ‘Yeah, more. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #marriage #marriage

Edie was a gorgeous, avant-garde girl back in the day when that could be a full-time occupation, but in marriage she slowly became less wild. To Manny’s great disappointment, though, her domestic skills didn’t rise to the fore as her sexual and artistic ones receded. ↗

— Meg Wolitzer

#marriage

He felt the guilt of inaction, of simply waiting while his life went to waste. No one was worth the gift of his life, no one could possibly be worth that. It belonged to him alone, and he did not deserve it either, because he was letting it waste. It was getting away from him and he made no effort to stop it. He did not know how. ↗

— Leonard Gardner

#depression #marriage #sadness #marriage

While you’re singing something romantic, I can’t get the lyrics to ‘Love and Marriage’ out of my head, and that tune always reminds me of the jingle from Jeopardy. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#humor #humourous-situations #jeopardy #jingle #love

No " Carly wheezed "I'm going to marry Joe ↗

— Amanda Stephan

#love #marriage #the-price-of-trust #love

A man is not complete until he is married, then he is finished. ↗

— Zsa Zsa Gabor

#finished #gabor #humour #life #love

You’ll marry me now? Dad says mom married him ‘cause he brought her flowers and candy.” He furrowed his brow in thought. “I don’t have any candy … but I can getcha a frog. ↗

— Peggy Martinez

#marriage

A blanket could be used to fix your broken marriage. You’ll also need duct tape, an empty car trunk, a getaway driver, and the most opportune moment to snatch your mother-in-law away to never be seen or heard from again. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny