#men

Everybody must be managed. Queens must be managed. Kings must be managed, for men want managing almost as much as women, and that's saying a good deal. ↗

— Thomas Hardy

#kings #men #queens #women #humor

I would be lying if I said I didn't get a kick out of the assignment. Here I am, a "troubled youth," and my self-chosen treatment is to become a stalker. Okay, not stalker. Research Analyst. ↗

— Lindsey Leavitt

#humor #lindsey-leavitt #research #sean-griswold-s-head #stalker

That could be a very sexy story. ↗

— LynDee Walker

#humor #mystery #news #reporter #women

The tyranny of public opinion (and what an opinion!) is as fatuous in the small towns of France as it is in the United States of America. ↗

— Stendhal

#humor #mob-mentality #peer-pressure #humor

You know, you can always do a three some.” “A three some?” I frowned. “No.” He shrugged. “Just a thought.” “Yeah, a dumb one,” I spat. “Hey! I didn’t call your idea to re-wallpaper the kitchen a dumb idea!” “You have a problem with the new paper?” I demanded. “Pop, please, it’s hideous,” Trick said. ↗

— Kira

#comedy #humor #humor

Lucy: I don't understand men. Nettie: What is there to understand? If you feed 'em regular-like and give 'em a bit of 'sugar' now and then, they're easy enough. And if they don't behave, you just toss 'em out on their arses. That's what I always say. ↗

— Sabrina Jeffries

#humor #men #romance #humor

Girls can do anything boys can do in high heels! ↗

— Brooke Sachau

#humor #women #women-s-strength #humor

I'm what is known as perimenopausal. "Peri", some of you may know, is a Latin prefix meaning 'SHUT YOUR FLIPPIN' PIE HOLE". ↗

— Celia Rivenbark

#menopause #humor

To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him! ↗

— Demetri Martin

#humor #names #salesmen #humor

AMNESTY, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#crime #humor #immigration #politics #punishment