#mis

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. ↗

— Anthony G. Oettinger

#misattributed-to-groucho-marx #time #humor

Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. ↗

— Sheng Wang

#humor #misattributed-betty-white #humor

If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm! ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#optimist #humor

I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it. ↗

— Jean Kerr

#i #make #mistakes #second

It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily. "So it is." "And freezing." "Is it?" "Yes," said Eeyore. "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately. ↗

— A.A. Milne

#optimism #humor

As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #optimism #solace #humor

Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#fate #humor #misfortune #top- #humor

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. ↗

— Bil Keane

#inspirational #misattributed-eleanor-roosevelt #past #present #widely-misattributed

If you make a mistake and do not correct it, this is called a mistake. ↗

— Confucius

#mistake #inspirational

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ↗

— Marilyn Monroe

#best #life #love #mistakes #out-of-control